Am I the Only One That Worries?

Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only doctor that worries...  I fear I might do the wrong thing for a patient, and I worry that I could do things better.

I worry because I care.  I really want to do the right thing and sometimes wonder if I'm really up to it.  

I've seen and known doctors that never worry.  They never think they do the wrong thing.  When I was in med school and residency, I used to admire these doctors.  I used to revere their confidence, and longed for the day that I, too, could be so sure of myself and every decision I made treating my patients.

Well, that day, for me, has never come.  I have come to realize, however, that these doctors that are so sure of themselves are usually not very good doctors.  I think many of them have learned to hide their incompetence behind a veil of arrogance.

I asked one of my attendings that I truly respected once just before I finished residency if that feeling would ever go away...  He put his hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye and said, "If that feeling ever goes away, that's when you really need to start worrying."